she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I touched a dick in church today
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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