what if every blade of grass was a penis?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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