I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
