its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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