i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
