so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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