Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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