You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize