i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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