I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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