don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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