so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
