she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
