you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
