Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize