I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
