i already hear my dad disowning me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
