This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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