I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
