Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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