Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
