Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
