Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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