put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
