Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize