he told me I talked like a deaf person
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
