I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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