I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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