I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
