Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
