I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
