My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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