My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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