We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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