You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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