the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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