I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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