spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My vagina just recognized that song.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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