making cat noises will not fix the situation.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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