it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
