Don't you send me to vm
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
