he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
