Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
