As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
