but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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