well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
