areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
