did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
