Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
