i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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