I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
