Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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