apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
