i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
