I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
