Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
