Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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