i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
