sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
