Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
