I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
