awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
