Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
