I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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