i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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