Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
