So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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