True but thats because hes a fetus.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
