i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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