I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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