Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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