I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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