you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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